Money conversations before getting married: Exploring relevant aspects

It is common in Indian culture to examine personal horoscopes of the girl and the boy before finalizing the marriage. Isn’t it also constructive to see what money values (behavior around money) both of them have? Financial compatibility is cardinal nowadays. The decision to get married is one of the most major and exciting decisions you’ll make during your lifetime. If you’re about to get married, it’s important to shed light on practical aspects of spending the rest of our lives together. It’s paramount to know and understand where you, as partners, stand personally and financially. You must have boundless money conversations before getting married. 

Money is an important aspect. As life partners, you should be talking about it. It all starts from the first date, when both of you mutually decide to split the dining bill. Getting married is more than just substituting the word “ours” for “yours” and “mine”.

Purpose of having money conversations before getting married

To avoid shocks or disagreements down the road, it’s a good idea to actually understand each other’s financial situations, beliefs and attitudes before you legally come together as a couple or a blended family. The key is to be frank and honest to the truest of senses. You don’t want any financial resentment as the relationship progresses. You should talk about what money means to each of us.

One may need more financial security and the other wants to live more in the moment. This is where our role as Financial Advisor in Kolkata sets in. The purpose is to realize in what aspects both the partners are on the same page. Where you’re not, you can find common grounds and adjust. It’s not meant to judge each other, but to cooperate throughout. Fine blend of empathy and logic helps to run family finances with lesser hiccups.

Money conversations before getting married has it’s own essence

Walk in the other person’s shoes to understand his or her perspective. Being mindful and polite, as well as listening, are among the best ways to talk about money before marriage and beyond.

Relevant aspects relating to money conversations before getting married

Learning about each other’s financial background

How we feel about money is often very emotional and very personal. It’s both positive and negative. Our family’s views on money can have a big impact on the way we see finances. It shapes our beliefs and attitudes around money matters. Therefore, it is an absolute necessity to learn about each other’s financial background. As Certified Financial Planner in Kolkata, we recognize that people’s financial backgrounds are bound to differ. Thus, we need to respect each other’s views while having money conversations before getting married. It will enable us to build a strong foundation of our family finances together.

Listening to each other’s goals

We genuinely need to listen to each other’s dreams and goals.

All of us have career-goals. You need to have a clear idea about, “How does our career aspirations fit into the overall plans after marriage?” Will reaching those aspirations require additional education (self up-gradation)? If so, you need to mutually decide and put things in place to maintain balance. Knowing all these will allow us to support each other invariably and set better short-term and long-term goals together.

When it comes to life-goals, you need to ask each other, “What kind of life do you want to build together?” By getting married, you’ll become a family. But you may have very different plans for your lives. It’s not that all of your goals will sound similar. If your goals aren’t all mutual, you need not despair. You need to acknowledge your respective needs and wants. You simply have to work together to decide what your shared goals should be and how to support each other in achieving the personal goals that are important to one of us. Without exception, you have to behave rationally.

You should ask each other one important question in the end, “If need be, are we ready to adjust to certain things willfully?”

Knowing each other’s existing financial commitments

You should have a mindset of taking care of your aging parents. Considering Indian culture, our parents may not be comfortable to reach out to us for financial assistance in case of any requirement. As responsible children, you need to be sensible enough to look after them. Parents may need financial support on a monthly basis or lump sum money during any emergency (medical or others). Even, one of you may need to financially support your siblings – it can be college fees or something else.

You need to be aware of each other’s existing financial commitments. You need to be clear about, “How will you respond to family members who ask for financial support?”

Understanding each other’s spending habits

Priorities and habits are not always similar. It is most likely that the two of us don’t spend and save money the same way. This is important to know because your partner’s spending habits can have a huge impact on your ability to reach your financial goals. Also, it should be noted that how you spend money may not always line up with your deep-rooted values about money. You need to share your thoughts on, “What do you think is worth spending, and what isn’t?”

 Having this conversation will also reveal if the partners have the inherent willingness to follow a monthly spending plan or not. 

It’s extremely important to feel that you have some freedom and flexibility, both personally and financially. You need to discuss how you will deal with your personal spending. Cutting the coat according to the cloth helps you to avoid unnecessary financial burden.

Not agreeing on each other’s spending priorities can lead to serious conflicts in future. Therefore, mutual understanding has a pertinent role to play.

Sharing existing financial information with each other

It’s always wise to share with each other all sorts of financial information/ documents with each other.

Directly asking about your partner’s income can be weird at times, but walking into marriage with a financial blindfold on is even worse.

Nobody likes to talk about loans. But, you need to disclose any loans you are having. It can be an existing student loan or personal loan, home loan, car loan or credit card dues. Having this conversation now will help us if you’re planning to borrow money for a large purchase, such as a residential property or a car.

It’s important to identify the assets you both have acquired prior to your marriage. Assets can be both personal assets and investment assets. Financial goal-planning becomes 

Additionally, you should clearly know each other’s life insurance coverage and health insurance policy details.

Importance of money conversations before getting married while deciding to manage family finances together

If you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together, why not learn how to manage your money as a unit? Many people believe that finances should be combined after marriage. However, some people believe the best way to manage finances is to keep things separate. It’s important to always communicate openly. 

You need to understand each other’s strengths, weaknesses and natural abilities around money management. Thereafter, you should decide who’ll play what roles in managing family finances going forward. It involves regularly discussing financial decision-making, budgeting, paying bills on time and investments towards financial goals, etc. The division of responsibilities may or may not be equal.

During family financial planning, we sit with couples to understand their preferences and comfort zones. It enables us to work with them effectively. 

Understanding expectations

The gravity of understanding others’ expectations from us is huge. It’s not usually tangible. 

Parents may have expectations from their child. Wife may have expectations from her husband and vice versa. We all struggle with managing expectations with our family. As professionally qualified Financial Consultant in Kolkata, we intend to understand our client and his/her family in order to unravel their expectations from each others. Setting and managing reasonable expectations is a useful exercise to minimize stress in personal lives.

There is an objective behind having money conversations before getting married. It is to understand how we can live our lives happily together

As Investment Advisor in Kolkata, we notice that couples talk about money only when there’s something to worry or argue about. It can be about not having enough money to pay for an unexpected expense or credit card bills, etc. Thus, money conversations before getting married are very much relevant. Financial planning processes and tools are structured in such a manner that enables a family to lead a less stressful life, financially. Ultimately, it offers peace of mind.

So, if you’re getting married (or just got married), congratulations to both you! We understand that these discussions may not be the most romantic ones, but they do have the ability to bring you much closer together. You don’t need to have all these conversations at once. Basically, money conversations before getting married allow you to become stronger partners when it comes to reaching your goals as a couple, emotionally as well as financially. It’s unrealistic to think that you both will have the same values about money, so don’t worry if your answers are different. Keeping the lines of communication open to lay a strong financial foundation for your future together is the fundamental need.